turning 21's a giant task, i know it was for me. the road won't get any easier but i'll definitely try to make it better. all the responsibilities and hopes placed on you are great and you will see that you will have a greater impact on the world as it already has on you. i know you dread growing a year older now especially when you're 21, but fret not, cause it will give you much more room to soar with your wings wider and more freely. i hope you treasure every moment you have the way i treasure every single second with you. faithless we may be to the world around us, but together we have a way. here's to the many many years ahead and may it be filled with even more joy and happiness than there already is right now. i love you

i don't deserve to be treated nicely.
i should never ask for anything.

my own flaws and lack of all things,
gives me more reason to be a slave to everything.

i can't be a man when told to be,
and i'm not allowed to be human none the least.

i should treat you the way you need,
and not ask to be treated any single bit.

my needs are redundent.

my heart it is weak.

like a spectre that grabs a hold of your heart and squeezes it till the blood bursts out, how much my heart hurts for you now. if i could take away the agony and sadness you feel every single time and place it in mine, i'd do so so that you'd never have to feel hurt or lost again.

my imperfections are my weakness and i pray each day that they will go away. so that you can be happier without having to live with my imperfections. i am selfish. to myself.

do people evolve based on natural selection? it's easy to see how people evolve physically through natural selection. but does it work the same when it comes to emotions and any mental or rational matters?

be strong. be strong.

sometimes you forget your past when you're experiencing so much happiness. and in your moments of happiness, your forgetfulness can screw you over. you forget to remove your past and so we blame ourselves for our own stupidity and uselessness.

i'm sorry

hey there it's good to see you again,
it never felt right calling this just friends,
i'm happy if your happy with yourself,
take off your shirt your shoes,
those skinny jeans o bought for you,
we're diving in there's nothing left to lose,

i'm gonna break down these walls i built around myself,
i wanna fall so in love (so in love) with you and no one else,
could ever mean half as much to me as you do now,
together well move on, just don't turn around,
let the walls break down,

i'm sorry stupid world. i know you don't need me anymore. let me say my last goodbyes and you will not see my anymore.

sometimes in my life, i realise that people won't always be there for you. be it friends, loved ones or acquiantences. but even at times like these, you still have to be there for others and still show that you're strong. the world takes a stab at your back, but when you've reached a certain stage you realise that simply removing the blades that pierce you so deeply from behind and being nonchalant about it makes people around you happier in a real or even cynical way.

some people are born to be entertainers and i feel i fall into that category. even at moments when you feel you can't take it anymore, you still have to find that last bit in you to pull yourself together. it feels nice to pull yourself together for yourself, but it's not easy when most of the things in life you do for the people around you and the feeling is unrequited.

when will we be taken seriously? who knows. maybe god, but sometimes he chooses not to tell.

maybe someday people will see it clear enough, to feel the way i do.